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While cooking for a dinner party/cooking class. Actually a bachelorette party for 10 awesome women.

The story

Wendy, the bride to be, was Jamaican. She loved cooking and food, and had a wonderful collection of Jamaican cooking products from her home town; stuff like local wild honey, that had beautiful, grassy floral notes… reminds you honey should taste like more than just honey. And this Jamaican Nutmeg; which I thought had just an amazing look to it…like a piece of art.
I had pulled out my grated nutmeg seed to add a little sweet earthiness to the Gnocchi we were making, and Wendy just wasn’t havin’ any of it. She went straight to the cupboard and said “Here darlin’…use this…now you know.” Well, those weren’t her exact words, but you get the idea.

Not so common

Turns out (I can’t believe I didn’t already know this…or just forgot), that nutmeg is the seed of a fruit. I knew the outside shell (the aril) was mace; another common cooking spice, kinda like mellow nutmeg. Turns out the yellow fruit (see left pic) is totally edible and quite often made into tangy jams in India and Indonesia. Damn! That sucks…I want nutmeg jam.

We get tons of nutmeg seed imported into the states; how is there not a market for this yellow fruit and it’s fresh red mace? The fresh mace can also be steeped to add color to a dish. I wonder if the yellow fruit from the nutmeg in my cupboard was put to waste?

Just so many uses, and all I ever did was grate it…frugality fail.

Here’s that Gnocchi recipe

Truffled Gnocchi
3 medium russet potatoes (baked, peeled, and riced)
3 egg yolks
around 1½c flour maybe more
3T Parmesan cheese
1T white truffle oil
pinch of fresh nutmeg
salt
pepper

On a clean flat surface put the riced potatoes in a pile, 3/4c flour, egg yolks, cheese, oil, nutmeg, salt and pepper. Lightly work together with your hands until a ball can be formed. It will not feel completely dry, but only add flour to add strength. If it feels to delicate, add more but not to much because you can’t take it away. Divide into smaller balls. Throw some flour on a clean surface and roll a ball out until it is about 1/2in. in diameter. With a knife, cut 1in. long segments; transfer to a floured cookie sheet and repeat the process, until all the gnocchi dough is cut up. Bring a large pot of water to a high boil and salt heavily. * do in batches and don’t over crowd the pot with gnocchi. Blanch until the gnocchi rise to the top, then give em another 20 seconds. Transfer to either a hot pan with a bit of oil and butter to crisp and brown. Or, transfer to ice water to stop the cooking process; then store in the fridge.

If you can’t drink it don’t cook with it right? Right! But that doesn’t mean you need to cook with the wine you are drinking, ah-ha!

Rules to follow

First off, never, ever…ever, ever, ever, buy anything labeled “Cooking Wine”. Unless you jones for that bitter, flat, vinegar rush.
On the other end of the spectrum; cooking with a $20-$50 bottle of wine is, (in this cooks mind), a complete waste of money. Kinda like sauteing with extra virgin olive oil. Wine is alive and only heated to around 70 degrees, then it starts to die soon after 100. Cooking wine, destroys all that the winemaker has tirelessly worked to achieve. Those delicate nuances that shift and change, open and develop, making it an “experience”…hopefully.
Can using a good wine make a sauce better? Yes, but I have a budget to stay under so I’d rather drink the good stuff and cook with a lower quality wine.

Cost Options

There are a couple great options for low cost wine. Charles Shaw (2 buck chuck) at Trader Joe’s, or, Big Kahuna at Fresh and Easy are both $2 bottles and usually very drinkable. There are some caviates if you use them as drinking wine. They have zero shelf life, (so don’t buy too many) and quality varies from batch to batch/year to year. If you didn’t like it last year, give it another shot; they stay inexpensive because the wine makers change up where the grapes come from depending on price.
You’d be surprised how well these wines do in a blind taste test going up against $15 and under bottles; 3 times now they’ve come in the top 3 of 10-16 bottles.
As for cooking with these wines, remember that a small pinch of sugar can go a long way if there is too much acidity. This isn’t cheating, this is chemistry.
So remember, if price is no option then none of this matters; but if you’re like me and hate to waste money. There are wonderful inexpensive substitutes to take advantage of…and that’s exactly what you should do.

White Sapotes in early Spring, Loquats in late spring. Two wonderful, deliciously juicy fruits I look forward to every year. They are the crown jewels of my spring fruit season and I don’t have to do a thing to help them grow. I get my hands on these sumptuous treasures, not from the sweat of my brow while toiling away on weekends; but rather hijacking them from my neighbor…thanks neighbor. Not to worry, I’m not hopping fences and skulking around their yard at night. I’m following the same law that’s been grandfathered down for generations and is told best by the ancient mantra of the neighbor fruit; “As fruit lays over my fence, so it falls into my belly.”

It’s so good

Seriously though, it feels like a present when I eat these fruits. There is something very satisfying about it…a gratefulness not unlike when someone cooks you a yummy dinner and all you had to do was bring a bottle of wine.

White Sapote, also known as Casimiroa is shaped like a peach but has a matted light green skin which turns yellow as it ripens. The pale yellow flesh surrounds 3-5 big seeds that unfortunately take up alot of prized real estate. They taste…sensual, like a cross between vanilla custard, pear, and a little bit of mellow sweet tomato. The skin is edible and thin but slightly bitter like a pear and a little disappointing.  It’s hard to get the decadent middle without some peel. These guys are really messy as you navigate around the seeds, but I think that adds to their sensual quality. Not all fruit is tidy and clean, but that’s what you get sometimes with neighbor fruit.

Go get ’em

They’re great to add to smoothies, but I always just eat them raw in hand. One lame thing is: they have a relatively short shelf life. Once they start to ripen they become really soft and if they fall off the tree, it’s hard to grab them before the birds or mice get a bite. I guess that just makes them that much more rare and special. So, if your ever perusing an Asian or Mexican market, don’t look at the price, just grab this fruit…along with a napkin, sit down and enjoy.

Loquats (not to be confused with Kumquat), are another seasonal marker my wife and I look forward to every year. Our neighborhood is speckled with the trees, so when we see this small orange fruit ripening, we know April is here. Looking like an egg shaped apricot, the flavor is a mix of pear, cherry and apricot. The skin is bit bitter and it has three somewhat large seeds inside.
I’m the type of person that relishes the perfect bite, so to obtain that, I must peel. Eaten raw or put into jams, these little guys are versatile and delicious. The trees themselves tend to yield alot of fruit which is great, because they go fast.

If you aren’t lucky enough to have accessible neighbor fruit, but you see them around your hood. Take the chance and knock on the door to ask. If you’re not greedy about it, most people won’t mind if you taste one or two…just ask nicely.

Ever had the water from a young coconut?  This water is the most hydrating liquid on the planet with so many vitamins and nutrients, your body won’t even know what’s going on. Actually there’s more truth to that then you know, it’s also a mild diuretic on the same level as coffee. Those “symptoms” fade away as you get used to it.

Hydration

I drink raw coconut water whenever I get the chance and I firmly believe the raw coconut water. Water inside the coconut is light years better then ANY packaged brand. I’ve tried them all with varying results. One thing they all have in common is they are all pasteurized. You can go ahead and wave goodbye to 50% of it’s nutritive properties right there. I WILL say; the no added sugar varieties are a wonderfully convenient substitute for the raw version. They work great for hydrating purposes.

Learn more about it

Here is a link to more of it’s nutritional content and, here’s a link to help you properly open a young coconut. When it comes to opening one. I don’t hold the coconut in my hand, but rather keep it on the cutting board. Using the heel of my knife to make 3 firm hacks about an inch and a half in diameter around the tip. To scrape out the highly nutritious meat you can search for another video. I’m just trying to let you in on the water.

If you don’t love this stuff…try it again. Btw, coconut oil is also the most versatile and beneficial oil on the planet as well. Ah, but that’s another blog for another day.

As stated before, I’m a personal chef. That means I’ve seen countless home kitchens, from mind blowing on every level, to, “oh my god, this isn’t even a kitchen, and why is the water brown.”
It was hard not to notice how many people had the same horrible teflon pans, plastic spatulas and micro serrated knives.
Here, in no particular order are 10 kitchen tools I deem essential for producing a wide variety of quality, consistent meals. I didn’t say hand tools, just the basic essentials for in home gourmet cuisine. (This might seem long, but it’s a quick read)

1. Good knife and steel
I know, I know; everyone always says, get a good knife. But it’s true; a decent, sharp knife is the most essential tool in the kitchen. Don’t let anyone tell you, you NEED that $150 chefs knife. I’ve seen men do amazing things with the cheapest knives in the world…so why does everyone think they need a Global or Wusthof to cook proper food? Learn to sharpen a knife properly and the world is your oyster. Whether with a sharpening stone, ceramic rods, or a mechanized apparatus; learn to sharpen and you’ll be happy with a $20 knife.
Not to say that the expensive ones aren’t better, but dropping a ton of dough on a knife when you can’t even keep it sharp doesn’t make sense. Plus, you’ll want to use your less expensive models for honing your technique. This is where the steel comes in handy. It is important to keep in mind that with knifes there is going to be injuries, First Aid Training can help you manage any injuries with minimal pain. A steel is the long metal rod you see people “sharpening” their knives on before use. Although there is the appearance of sharpening; the steel is cleaning and straightening the knife, as opposed to actually creating a fresh new edge.
In the event your ready to burn some cash; stick with a model that is comfortable in your hand, heavy for its size, has smooth top edges and is pleasing to to look at. Always feel and hold knives before you purchase them. Go to a knife shop and talk to the salesman about comparisons.
Another route is ceramic knives, mainly from Kyocera. They’ll definitely scorch your pocketbook, but, for the home or hobby chef, they’re fantastic. They stay sharp for a very long time and after a year or two, you mail it back to the company with $10; and they ship it back in a few days with a brand new edge. They are very brittle so you can’t smash garlic or peel a watermelon; but for small jobs, they’re just great.

2. Microplane
Multi-tasker extraordinaire! This under $10 (with a 20% off Bed Bath and Beyond mailer) tool can finely grate hard cheese, nutmeg, ginger, garlic and zest citrus like nobody’s business. I personally like the short fat one instead of the long skinny one and I have two. One is the old one that is a bit beaten down, and it no longer works for softer stuff like zesting. I use my old one for hard things only, like nutmeg and parmesan.

3. Good blender
Good being the operative word here; there are a lot of choices for blenders on the market. Oster seems to dominate the affordable, home, standby. But, unless you like that renegade hunk of ice in your Margarita or you just love using your strainer, you might be happier with a little more power. So lets talk price. Kitchen Aid and Cuisinart have always been depressingly horrible with more emphasis on design then performance. If you’re looking for a blender that does most jobs well, looks nice enough, lasts awhile and is around $150; go with an Oster or Waring. If you decide that versatility, power, overall performance, ease of use, ease of cleaning and longevity are important factors in your decision,; then the short list gets even shorter. Power wise, Blendtec makes a quality product but I don’t like using push button controls and the container is a little small. I like my blender to have an on/off switch, a hi/low switch and a separate full range speed dial. This makes ramping up hot liquids safer and easier.
Long story getting shorter…suck it up, spend the extra cash and get a Vita-mix with a speed regulating dial. You’ll never ask for anything more and you can successfully puree a friggin’ brick or, just use it for nut butters, veggies, ice drinks, and a multitude of emulsification’s. It can pulverize so efficiently that you can extract vital nutrients from produce (like a juicer), that other blenders can’t get near. Did I mention you don’t take it apart to clean? A little soap and water, couple seconds on high, give it a rinse, and your done. $ = 

4. Pots ‘N Pans
Thin pans will burn your food so thick and heavy is always better. You should have a pan or two with a nonstick surface, but you don’t need it or want it for everything…unless that nonstick is cast iron. Love cast iron this guy does. Heats nicely, retains heat well, has an almost nonstick surface, is durable, long lasting, cleans easy, goes in the oven, easy grip handles, is ridiculously inexpensive and looks cool…not pretty, but cool. Down sides are; it’s heavy, rusts without proper care, takes an extra minute to heat up, aaaaaaaaaand that’s, about, it. Lets look at the other end of the spectrum with All Clad. It’s beautiful and shiny, heats evenly, transfers heat well, comes in complete sets, can go in the oven. Down sides are; ridiculously expensive, handles are unsafe (the pan will rotate in your hand when full), they get oil stained easily thereby losing the beautiful quality, no nonstick quality.

Bottom line, I don’t care what you buy, but dropping 1-3 grand on some pot and pans will not make your food better. So what to get? Instead of recommending any set or brand, let me just give you a few basics.

You need:
1 large stainless steel stock pot
1 large stainless steel saute pan for searing and caramelizing(high sided is more versatile but not essential)
1 large non-stick saute pan for things like eggs and pancakes
1 medium stainless steel saute pot

So that is 4 essential pans and it could be three if your large saute pan is seasoned cast iron.

5. Outdoor grill
I know I know, this isn’t “in” most of our kitchens…semantics.
Obtaining “grill flavor” is so key in widening the variety of cultures and flavors we cook with. Whether gas or charcoal, grilling provides smokiness that cannot be achieved indoors. Fat melts, hits a flame, smokes, and that smoke flavors the meat. This is why charcoal usually tastes better; the fat hits the burning wood, not gas or hot metal. But don’t fret over which to buy, just get gas, it’s easy, clean and consistent. I use mostly gas but prefer the taste of charcoal. Also, many grills come with a nice size side burner which would kill that second bird you might be throwing stones at, (see tool #6). Shop around and look at multiple grills to match your needs but here are some buying tips. First tip, one word…Weber. Second tip, wait for it…Weber. I’m not trying to get Weber to monopolize the market, but decade after decade they do what’s right, and Home Depot conveniently carries the replacement parts. Things like igniters,diffusers and grates. You might think; “why do they need all those replacement parts, if its so solidly built?” The ugly truth is, all gas grills will go bad at some point, especially if they aren’t covered or are never cleaned. Extreme expansion and contraction of the metal parts combined with moisture and time is not good for anything that isn’t totally sealed. Not having to rely on specialty stores or the internet for replacement parts makes life a little easier.

Grills should be somewhat heavy and simply designed. I like the flames to run up and down not side to side. That makes it easy to cook on only one side of the grill or, if you like to use your grill as a smoker. Another big factor is the thickness of the grill grates. The thicker the better; iron is better then steal and ceramic coated iron is nice and lasts a long time. I like iron and ceramic coated iron over the steal because they don’t let food stick as much and they heat up more evenly then steel.

If you’re looking to create authentic flavors of the Mediteranian, North and South America and India, then get yerself a good grill. Grilling also means less pans to wash…gigitty.

6. One powerful (Gas) burner
Simple and obvious; but it can make the difference between an impressive meal and a Tuesday night dinner. There are times in cooking when high heat needs to be achieved and most importantly, maintained. Searing steak or fish and having fun with stir-frys demands high heat. As does boiling a large pot of water or soup. Electric can get hot enough, but can be hard to control, and the pan cannot loose contact with the element.
We would all like a bad mammer jammer Wolf range, but the fact is, we all can’t. So, what to do?
If you happen to be in the market for a new stove, look for one with a burner that is obviously bigger then the rest. If you can, also buy one that has a long center burner and two of the same size burners on the opposite side. This greatly opens your options for future use. If you already have a stove in place and a new one is nowhere on the horizon, you have one solid option. Clean burning natural propane (Hank Hill voice).
You can spend $40-$150 on single, double or triple propane burners that will get your pans or fry pots as hot as you need, (like a turkey fryer). You’ll need to have it stationed outside just like your grill but that’s okay. You don’t want smoke or oil steam smelling up your house as it is. I get annoyed frying in doors cause it always funks up the house unless you have a better then average vent hood.

7. Spatulas (silicone and metal) Everyone has a spatula, but not necessarily of the silicone variety. Hugely important as it’s one of those “go to” tools, you’ll tend to grab for anything requiring stirring, scraping or flipping. It’s great to have silicone because of it’s resistance to heat and the malleable nature of it is perfect for getting corners that metal and wood cannot. Now that everyone has non-stick pans, you’ll need something that won’t scratch.Growing up, our spatulas and pancake flippers were always plastic; and always melted. If you still have plastic tools in your drawers, toss em’ and get silicone everything.Fish spatulas or thin metal pancake flippers are different but still use the word spatula.I can’t tell you how much difference it makes to have something that is uber thin, yet rigid enough to flip things that are delicate and like to stick to the pan…which is a tricky combination.

A fish spatula acts as a pancake flipper, but is as thin and strong as you need to flip the most stubborn pancake or crispy browned potato. Not a common American kitchen tool yet, but it should be. If you don’t actually have a fish spatula just make sure you have a flat, thin metal flipper of some kind. It’ll save many a brown crust from staying on the pan and countess sponges from being over worked.

8. Metal Whisk
Did this need it’s own spot on the list? A whisk is a whisk…right?
If you’ve seen as many home kitchens as I have you’d see why it’s on the list. Waaaaaay to many people have substandard whisks and if you enjoy cooking and baking, this thing is a work horse. From making aioli or vinaigrette, getting lumps out of a roux thickened sauce or whipping batters and eggs; old school and standard is best. Ballooned at the end is preferable but the thinner models work good enough as a stand in. The ones that look like a spring are lame, plastic or silicone don’t provide enough rigidity or flow and the ones that look like elongated martini strainers are just useless. Same goes with the unconnected ball capped tines that look more like a South American flower stamen or some Cylon sex toy then a usable whisk. However, it will look nice in your tool bucket next to your stove.

9. Aluminum foil
Nothing beats classic Reynolds, but make sure you get the heavy duty kind. Foil is amazing and can be used to steam, roast, line a pan for easy clean up, wrap something to grill. Speaking of grill; don’t have a grill brush? Wad up some foil and go to town. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used it as a make shift lid for a pot, or, a make shift anything. If I wasn’t married, here is how I might enjoy a bachelors dinner. Cover a pan in foil, roast some potatoes, transfer foil with potatoes to plate, add ketchup, eat, wrap up leftovers in same foil, no dishes…gigitty.

10. Openers (Can and Wine)
This might seem out of place and a little obvious, but what good is wine and can goods if you can’t open them? There are no other means to open these products and they are essential to kitchens everywhere. Wine is prevalent in 50% of my recipes and we all use canned goods. Whether it be coconut milk, black beans or pumpkin, we need these two one trick ponies.

So that’s it! Sure you can fill your drawers with tools, from across the globe or  late night television, but you only need 10 to be a great cook.
Now no more excuses 

Goji or Wolfberries are one of those superfoods like Acai, Mangosteen and whatever else the dirty hippie at Whole Foods is trying to sell you on. Kidding aside, the nutritional punch these little guys pack is no joke. They are one of the most nutritionally compact single food stuffs on the planet. The berries are rich in cancer fighting antioxidants probably even Leukemia, vitamin C, carotenoids, and are complete proteins containing all nine essential amino acids. They even slow down the aging process, keeping our DNA intact longer. Originating in the Himalayas, the Chinese have eaten them for centuries. They have bitter seeds, with flesh that tastes like something between a tomato and a strawberry/cherry.

I usually buy them dried at the Asian market for around $2-$3 a pound…compared to Whole Foods $8-$16 a pound depending on sale price. I don’t don’t mean to rag on Whole Foods; they do carry quality ingredients…but sometimes they just rake you over the organic coals.

The plant itself is cute, with little bright red berries and purple and white flowers, depending on the time of year. I bought the plant cause I like planting things in my garden that serve a purpose, other then just being pretty. It surprises me how much time and energy most of us put into gardens that don’t produce any edibles.Just got home from Oregon where a ton of people are jumping on the“Urban Garden” bandwagon. People are turning their front yards into big ol‘ vegetable gardens. If you can make it pleasing to the eye…why not, right? Might as well get some food for the expense of watering and caring for a lawn and foliage. Smelly plants are cool too, I like those.

Oh yeah, Goji’s. So, I have a plant that is cute, different, grows one of the healthiest fruits on the planet, and is easy to grow…yay me!
Now you might ask yourself; “What Josh…what do you want? Why are you writing about your little plant? The easy answer is that my wife made me, ha ha…but no…really.

Cheers to sustainable, edible gardens and foliage that makes you a healthier person.

***Update.  Well, it’s been a couple years and I realized something…I’m a shitty gardener.  My bush is still alive but it hasn’t really given me anything.  Totally user error on several levels but if it weren’t for the wife, I’d probably have a dirt lot in the back yard full of all things spikey fire loving.

****Update. Well, It’s been another couple years and I’m still a shitty gardener. It’s still alive but doesn’t give much.

I have seen some impressive pantry’s over the years, but I’ve also seen some pathetic ones. There are a few staples that are handy in the kitchen and help keep your food tasting great… and tasting different.

The rules for pantry items are:

Refrigeration is not necessary
Baking goods don’t count
Dried herbs and spices aren’t counted because there’s just too many, other then #1.

1. Salt and Pepper

Not counted as “spices” because they go in EVERYTHING! I don’t mean table salt and pre ground pepper. You need Kosher or sea salt and whole peppercorns that you grind from a pepper grinder. I like kosher salt as my every day salt because of it’s clean taste, uniformity in size and inexpensive price tag. For pepper, if you have a Trader Joes around you, buy the plastic pepper grinder that already has pepper in it. It costs $2 and grinds beautifully.

Why is this kind of dish so unctuously good?

Grilled Skirt Steak with
Shitake Fries and Worcestershire Aioli

1 skirt steak
kosher salt
fresh pepper

Heat a grill on high heat until hot. Season steak liberally and grill on high until browned and caramelized on both sides, about 7 minutes…don’t worry about cooking it all the way through, skirt stays moist.

Fries:
fresh shitake mushrooms, sliced or shaved
1c rice flour, cold
1c or more club soda or beer, ice cold
fry oil

Heat fry oil to 360 degrees ( when you start to fry it will drop to 350 which is the real temp to maintain.Whisk together the rice flour and soda water until a batter is formed…like a crepe batter. Season the batter with salt and pepper, dip in the mushroom slices and pop into the hot fryer. Fry for a minute or two, it won’t need to get browned, just crispy. Remove from the fryer to a cooling rack and season with a little more salt.

Aioli:
1 egg yolk
2Tworcestershire
1T malt or red wine vinegar
1T Dijon Mustard
1/2 clove garlic
1/2T minced shallot (optional)
1/8tsp dried thymes or 1/2tsp chopped fresh (optional)
1c grapeseed or canola oil, or peanut
salt and pepper to taste

Using a food processor, blend the first 7 ingredients. Then, with the machine running, slowly drizzle in the oil until combined and thick. Season to taste with a pinch of salt and pepper.

Wrapping our tongue up with earthy savory flavors like, mushrooms, beef and Worcestershire are primal tastes that to most people are undeniably good. But why are they undeniably good?
I am not a scientist, nor a scholar; just curious about the relationship between the foods we eat and their affects on our mind and body. Here are a few facts…a few fun facts, and a bunch of laymen theorizing that will hopefully run out of gas at it’s proper destination.

Glutamic acid or L-Glutamine…heard of ’em? Probably somewhere; it’s widely used in the medical, dietary and scientific industries; it also happens to be amino acid numero uno making up 60% of our skeletal muscle structure and plays a primary role in balancing our brain chemistry.
L-Glutamine is the absorbable form of glutamic acid; an amino acid, that in congruence with GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid), balances our brain function. These two aminos are neurotransmitters; they act like yin and yang in our brains with glutamic acid being the stimulator and GABA being the suppressor. These are the most vital/abundant NT’s in your brain. They control basic motor function, cognition, keeping your heart pumping, and lungs inflating, etc.
Both are important and both are necessary, however; I’ll be focusing more on the stimulating effects of glutamine, what it’s in, and how it’s a part of our lives…in ways you might not have realized.

Mono-Sodium Glutamate, or, MSG or hydrolyzed vegetable protein; is a refined version of Kombu seaweed salt. It tastes absolutely magical, but unfortunately, throws your insulin levels through the roof, along with your blood pressure and, is an excitotoxin (cell killer).  Did I mention it’s crack like addictive quality (scratch, scratch scratch).

Kombu has been around and used, for centuries. However, it wasn’t until the early 1900’s that a Japanese professor, refined it and processed it to sell to the public as a miracle food additive…which it is (scratch, scratch, scratch).

The only thing L-glutamine and MSG seem to have in common is they are both forms of glutamate. Which means they both trigger glutamate receptors on our tongue telling us that something in our mouth is savory and delicious…enter Umami. The name given to the 5th known taste sensor on our tongue, and the only taste sense to have it’s own brain receptor. Having it’s own brain receptor means we are absolutely hard wired to crave and enjoy this protein. It is also one of the only amino acids capable of crossing the blood-brain barrier. These two bits of info are huge as there are very few things on the planet that our brain is hard wired for and can pass through the blood-brain barrier.

Trained since birth to crave glutamate, it’ the most abundant amino acid in breast milk at 0.02%; which means a baby could easily be getting .15g a day. That might not seem like alot, but adults (on avg), eat around .5g -1 g of glutamate per day; which means newborns eat like they’re already 25lb. Please don’t question the math, the bullet point of this presentation is that breast milk has high levels of glutamine. Those glutamine levels will also be key in a babies ability to efficiently hydrate…which I’ll discuss in part 2.  Still with me?

Long intro, I know :-|Because we’re wired for glutamate it makes sense that finding ways to use it in our food is a good way to naturally bump up flavor and add richness that wasn’t there before.  Familiar foods naturally rich in glutamate include,  soy sauce and other soy products, black and white truffles, parmesan cheese, tomatoes, mushrooms, yeast, legumes, hemp seeds, chia seeds, raw cabbage, beets, and most animal based proteins.  I bump up flavor in lots of dishes with Worcestershire sauce, Braggg’s Liquid Aminos, Thai fish sauce and truffle oil. A bone in pot roast or braised short ribs is another great example. The flavor the bones give to the sauce is all glutamate richness…and fat—gigitty. Dried mushrooms are another great, natural, easily found umami punch.
Now that we have a small overview of what glutamate does, you might have realized that I haven’t made any profound points…turn tape over to side B, or read Part Deux.

One day, while contemplating glutamate rich foods, I realized that Jack ‘n The Box Tacos were ridiculously glutamate rich. Mostly bad/unhealthy free-glutamate; but since it’s pretty much a “glutamate taco” anyways, (beef, soy, tomato and MSG). I realized that what I had been preaching for several years might have some scientific validity. That is, that Jack ‘N The Box Tacos are the greatest hangover remedy food in existence. Existence meaning that it is easily available down the street and inexpensive…and crunchy…and greasy, ahhhhhh drool, nom nom nom.

Every time I had a bad hangover, these little 50 cent bastards would bring me back from the dead…every…wait for it…time.  I always assumed it was just my greasy post drinking food of choice, but as it turns out, the glutamate dense snack food acts like a pit crew in an auto race.

Stay with me here: Your body is the car and alcohol is the track. You’ll have fun racing, but you’re gonna get beat up, get a flat, spill some oil and run out of gas. To get back in the race you’ll need some gas (water) and new tires (stable head and stomach)Glutamate (the pit crew) assists your body in getting what it needs by facilitating hydration, balancing your brain chemistry and removing withdrawal symptoms. You can do all these things without added glutamate; but do you ever see a race car driver get out of his car to change the tires or fill up the tank? No, a pit crew is safer and more efficient.

What is your hangover remedy? Is it glutamate rich? All signs lead to yes…especially if your answer involves fast food.

Most of us know that the main reason for hangovers is dehydration. The higher concentration of blood alcohol you have, the less water there is in your blood, duh.
Another reason for hangovers is the effect alcohol has on your brain. Alcohol increases GABA activity and lowers glutamate activity. That means it increases a suppressing neurotransmitter, and decreases an excitatory; resulting in a double dose of depressant effects. Your central nervous system, heart/circulatory system, respiratory system, motor function, cognitive ability, learning, memory, is ALL suppressed; it’s a double-whammy.

While balancing out your suppressed brain function, glutamate also acts as a cellular hydration mechanism, whereby it can “trick” the brain into pulling in more water. This use is highly common among athletes and body builders for its hydrating effects on muscles—which then helps recovery time and growth.
This amazing hydrating aspect is what turned the light bulb over my head into this diatribe before you.

Disclaimer for lack of bibliography :-|
I got nothin’.  When it comes to concrete, documented evidence supporting my case, there isn’t much out there. But there are some companies selling GA based hangover cures, and I did do some pretty good field testing of my own. I had varied results because my controls were not strict enough; but one time (out of about three)…it worked like magic.
I already had the L-glutamine in pill form, as I’d been experimenting with myself and friends on random party nights. Results were always inconclusive, but never bad, and everyone seemed relatively good the next day; however, it was never clear that the glutamine was the reason.
So, like so many before me, I decided to put the burden and responsibility for accurateness solely upon my shoulders.
The mission ahead was detailed as such:
Glutamine pills…check.
Cheap liquor that assured a plate tectonic shifting headache… check.
I did drink a responsible amount of water, but nothing outside of what I normally would when partying.
While hanging out with family over a 3-4 hour period, I preceded to destroy around 3/4 of a 750ml bottle of Jim Beam, mostly mixing with a little Coke. I took glutamine before I started drinking, before bed and when I woke up in the morning. I think it was about 1g per dose (100mg). .
The next morning I felt absolutely fine.

Overall, L-glutamine is an awesome supplement capable of doing ridiculous amounts of good for our bodies. I wouldn’t recommend it everyday (since water is the only thing we should have EVERY day); but I’d definitely use it when I’m feeling less then 100%.
Sidenote* for those who use alot of ibuprofen. Glutamine has been found to reverse some of the intestinal damage caused by non-steroidal anti-inflammatories,..just sayin’.

ALOT of scientific explanation was left out here; but I assure you, I researched a shit ton…ask my wife :-| She’s glad it’s all over.

I obtained my information through random research, self testing, talking with people smarter then me (they weren’t hard to find) and a ton of scientific journals on the web. Obviously I have no bibliography for this article, sorry about that. I gathered information over a long period of time and lost track of where it all came from, so take it as you will, I’m gonna go grind a taco now…gigitty.